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Nigerian witches and wizards can now get B.Sc witchcraft degrees in South Africa

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Gathering of juvenile Nigerian witches?
Some juvenile Nigerian witches?

News that come out of South Africa often stupefy me. The latest is that Nigerian juju men and women plus any dunce can now travel to South Africa, enroll in some university and in a few short years legitimize his weirdness with a bachelor of science degree in witchcraft.

Which craft? But then here is the story…

The South African Minister of Higher Education and Training, Blade Nzimande has announced plans to have witchcraft included in the curriculum from 2018.

Speaking to representatives from student unions around the country, the minister announced the shocking move and urged future university candidates to consider taking Witchcraft. “There is a lot we can learn from witchcraft, like how they fly in that winnowing basket. Imagine if we learn that skill. It will eradicate traffic jams and everyone will just get in their basket and fly. It also means we will not be importing fuel anymore.” Blade said.

The announcement was met with boos and bottle throws from the packed auditorium who had gone to the meeting hoping the minister would announce a 0% fee increase for the coming year. The unperturbed minister also invited renowned witches to make an appointment with his office so they can have their skills tested and those outstanding would then be hired as lecturers.

He also invited witches from across the border, promising them permanent residence permits.

“I spoke to Gibs (Minister of Home affairs Malusi Gigaba) and he agreed to issue witches from outside South Africa with permanent residence permits. I heard Malawi and Zimbabwe have an impressive collection of witches. We are hoping they will heed the call”, he added.

Job Applications for all witches will be closing on Friday 30th September at midnight, after which an appointed panel will conduct interviews. There currently is an opening for 109 witches (thekillerpunch.com)

This is quite laughable, but then this is South Africa where priests faking to be Christians conduct hilarious weddings like one man to two sisters, one husband to 20 wives etc. But then again, didn’t President Olusegun Obasanjo appoint as a minister in his cabinet an old friend of his, Professor Wande Abimbola who has a PhD in Ifa Priesthood? He is a professor of Ifa Studies in Obafemi Awolowo University.

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Get B.Sc Witchcraft to fly high
Get B.Sc Witchcraft to fly high

So if a Blade as South Africa’s education and high training minister can’t think higher than teaching his citizens the witchcraft of flying in baskets to beat traffic jams and reduce fuel importation, let’s not cut him down. Someone appointed him minister. His name is Jacob Zuma, the embattled and disgraced outgoing President of South Africa who is already costing his party dominance of the country’s politics.

LAST WORD: Get ready Nigeria, some idiots may soon start brandishing degree certificates from South Africa as qualified witches and wizards. They would go there and come back as international graduate candidates for the National Youth Service Corps  scheme and send job applications to banks and oil companies, even primary and secondary schools promising them shortcuts to business success. Worse still, some get-rich-quick Nigerian pastors may seek this preposterous witchcraft degree from South Africa. So help us God. Amen.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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